DWILE FLONKING: A brief summary of the game (NBO Rules)

Dwile Flonking is normally played by two teams dressed as country "yokels" (or any other fancy dress including team T-Shirts/uniform etc). One team joins hands to form a ring which circles round, leaping into the air as they do so (Girting). A. member of the other team goes into the middle of the circle and puts a beer-soaked dwile on the end of a stick (Driveller). He spins round and has to project (Flonk) the dwile off the driveller with the object of hitting one of the players circling round him. He scores points for his team according to which part of the body he hits.
When all the players in one team have flonked, they then form a circle and girt, while the other team takes turns to flonk. The team with the most points at the end being the winners.

Dwile: a floor cloth/Beer Towel (or dishcloth with a large mesh) (at least 3 required)
Driveller: a stick used to project the dwile, about 1.5" diameter, 23" long (inclusive of a handle, which may be fashioned on one end if desired).
Chamber Pot: to contain the beer necessary for 'Taking the Pot'
Barrel: containing Olde English Ale (or any preferred beer) from which the pot is filled
Bucket or bath: to contain the beer(slops) in which to soak the dwiles (it is best to have several dwiles soaking, to save time waiting for the dwile to be returned after it has been flonked).

The referee or Jobanowl (daftest person you can find) requires a whistle, coin, notebook, and pencil. He should appoint a responsible person to keep score (possibly using a large scoreboard) or he may make note of the score in his notebook.

There should be 8-10 players in each team. One team girts while the members of the other team take turns to flonk; when they have all had their turn the referee blows his whistle for half-time. After a short break the teams change places. This is the procedure for a normal game.
A captain should be appointed for each team, to be responsible for his teams good conduct and sportsmanship.

When the .circle is in position a flonker from the other team picks up the driveller and goes into the centre of the circle; the referee calls for a dwile to be thrown to that flonker, and then shouts "here y'go t'gether" and blows his whistle. This is the cue for the circle to start girting and for the flonker to spin round and with a shout of "Dwiles Away" to flonk his dwile.
The team girting will have joined hands to form a circle and commenced turning in a clockwise direction, the players moving rapidly round, jumping and skipping up and down in order to dodge the dwile, and keeping their arms outstretched to form as large a circle as possible. They must not release their hands until after the dwile has been flonked.
If the circle is broken deliberately the referee may award a penalty flonk; for this the flonker has an additional flonk during which the players in the circle keep their hands joined, but must stand still and not girt.

The person flonking must keep to the centre of the girting circle.
He spins round (leaping into the air at the same time if he likes) in the opposite direction to the circle (i.e. anti-clockwise). He must spin completely round at least once before flonking the dwile and he must keep spinning round while he actually flonks the dwile.

Infringing these rules may mean that the referee will call a foul flonk - scoring no points but counting as one of his two flonks.
He normally has two flonks - if he scores with one and misses with the other, then that concludes his turn. But if he scores with both, he gains a bonus flonk (an extra flonk). If he misses with both flonks he has to pay a forfeit and "Takes the Pot".

Taking the Pot
The pot is filled with beer (between half to one pint) and handed to the flonker ready to drink.
The referee takes a dwile and gives it to the player at one end of the circle; when he blows his whistle the players in the circle pass the dwile hand-to-hand to reach the other end - but before it gets there, the flonker must drink the beer in the pot. If he fails to do so he loses one point for his team.
If the team passing the dwile throws it past some of their team, referee may penalize them one point, or make them start again (if a flonker hasn't drunk all the beer!)
As the dwile is being passed around the circle, and in fact, as soon as the teams realize a flonker has to take the pot, they clap their hands and chant "Pot, Pot, Pot ..."
(Under 18's, if playing, must nominate an adult to take the pot on their behalf)
Due to the introduction of new laws banning the use of beer the rules are amended as follows:-
The taker of the pot may take beer if they wish or alternatively they may pour the drink over their head or take a pot of ginger beer.


* A hit on the head of one of the girting team is termed a Wonton (3 points).
* A hit above the waist (including the arms) scores a Morther (2 points).
* A hit below the waist and on the legs and feet scores a Ripper (1 point).
* A miss is termed a Swadger and of course scores no points.

If a person is appointed to keep score, the following system of indication from the referee as to how many points have been scored may be adopted

Wonton:        the referee pats the top of his head-with both hands.
Morther:        he holds two hands in the air
Ripper:        he holds one hand in the air
Swadger;        he waves his hands from side to side.

If the flonker drinks the contents of the pot in time, he gives the thumbs-up sign; if not, he gives the thumbs-down sign and the scorer adds one point to the other team's score.
As in other sports, the referee's decision is final. He reserves the right to send a player off the field for misconduct or serious infringement of the rules.

The team with the most points wins the game (an extra point may be deducted from a team's score for every man who is sober at the end of the game!)

 As the teams, enter the playing area, and after the game, they: may feel like singing the flonking song "Here we'em be t'gether". The first verse plus the chorus is normally sung at the start of the game, the full song may be song at the end (if they have enough breath left).

Here we'em be together

Now here we1em be boys, now here we1em be,
With our Dwiles and our Drivellers, Dwile Flonkers are we.
Now you know how to play boys, so hear what I say,
Grab a hold of that Driveller and shout "Dwiles Away"

Chorus:        0 Drivel-i, drivel-i, drivel-i-aye

Now down we all go to the old village green,
The flonking match there is for all to be seen
Old Tom scores a Ripper and the crowd they do shout,
And then they start hullin' them dishcloths about

Chorus:        0 Drivel-i, drivel-i, drivel-i-aye

Now the game it do end and down go the sun,
And one team ha' lorst and the other ha' won.
But nobody knows of the score on the board,
!Cos they're flat on their backs and as drunk as a Lord!

Chorus:        0 Drivel-i, drivel-i, drivel-i-aye

Now you've seen how the game go and yer know how to play,
So join in the chorus and shout "Dwiles Away"!
So cheerio now to the old village green,
And we'll come back next year wi'a far better team!

Chorus:        0 Drivel-i, drivel-i, drivel-i-aye

The World Dwile Flonking Championship sevens
At The Dog Inn, Ludham Bridge, Norfolk
2016 all teams welcome, date Sat 6th August
Contact Sue@Wyken.com

2010 "The Pippin Flonkers" Coventry
2011 "The Pippin Flonkers" Coventry
2012 "The Jolly Rogers" Nottingham
2013 "The Jolly Rogers" Nottingham
2014 "The Dog Inn Flonkers" Ludham Bridge
2015 "The Pippin Flonkers" Coventry

Dwile Flonking Rules